Polar
by Neo Genesis1
Summary: “Sesshoumarusama doesn’t forget,” Rin countered. “Of course he doesn’t,” she answered in a nonconvincing way while turning to look at him. “Perhaps you best find someone to take care of the child. Someone good with little girls.” Sess
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the original characters of the anime/manga Inu-Yasha. All other characters are property of the muses in my head, so please ask if you feel the need to barrow.

**Author's note**: This is my first Inu-Yasha story, so please be gentle.

I don't know what the hell happens at the end of the series, since I live in America and we're just now getting it on cable tv, and the anime/manga is still going on in Japan. My story, ideally, happens after Naraku is destroyed and what not. So know that.

Umm… I can't think of anything else to say right now. So read, review, and enjoy

nEo

Polar

Chapter 1

The sun had just begun to set on the horizon when he halted his steps and ordered Jaken to start a fire. It was still light out, and even with her limited sight, Rin would have been able to go on for at least another hour. But she was starting to trail behind, and he suspected that the sickness hadn't quite left her body yet, despite the _majo's _efforts. As Jaken left to gather wood he turned to keep and eye on her, watching as she wrapped a dark blanket around her shoulders and sat down.

The weather had changed, although he wasn't effected by it, he noted it by the color of the leaves and the mist that appeared in front of his face whenever he exhaled. He hadn't, and wouldn't have, paid much heed to it if it hadn't been for the girl's constant cough and complaints about being cold despite the fire in her skin. He knew nothing about the needs of an ill human, and had no desire to, so he took her to the nearest village and demanded that she be cared for. The only person that stepped foreword was an old hag, who's back was so crocked and hunched over and who wreaked so much of pain and decay that he doubted her ability to care for herself, let alone another sick person.

But she plucked the shivering child from his arms and walked painstakingly slow to the hut that served as her home on the outskirts of the little village, and after eleven sun rises and ten sun falls she slid open her door and ordered him down from his watchful spot in her roof. He had been able to ignore her demanding tendencies for the past week and a half, but he hadn't been able to ignore the awful stench of her. It seemed that every inch of the two room hut was saturated with it. Whoever she was, death hung in every corner, and no amount of herbs and medicine would keep it away. He suspected she knew this, underneath her cryptic words and crazy ramblings she knew that it was there.

She offered him food, but he declined having no need or want for it. Instead he went directly over to the sleeping girl to rouse her. It only took a hand on her shoulder to open her dark eyes and she smiled up at him before starting the chatting that never really seemed to cease (even in her sleep.) Despite the frown he gave her he was relieved. During the period of her sickness she had been unnaturally silent, and while he welcomed it in the beginning, his enjoyment soon turned to a heavy uneasiness as the hours went by.

The witch had disappeared into the second room as he instructed the girl to get ready to depart. He watched Rin intently as she gathered what little things she had with her when they arrived, the outer part of her _kimono_, and a small white comb. She wasn't as energetic as she usually was, but she had made a dramatic improvement from her state when they first arrived.

The old woman had returned by the time the girl was done and she was holding a small, hand-sized cloth bag,

"You need to give her some of this at every meal until it runs out," she instructed as she shoved the bag towards him, "Let it steep in hot water before you serve it to her, and make sure she drinks all of it. Do you understand?"

He frowned inwardly at her use of the word 'serve' be ignored it (as he'd ignored a lot of things she'd said or done) and took the bag from her. It gave of the strong aroma of some unidentified plant, and while it was slightly pleasant it still held the stench of the dieing woman. He very reluctantly placed it inside the folds of his kimono.

"Are you ready," he asked Rin, who was standing patiently beside him. She nodded once before following him to the opening that served as a door.

"Remember, every meal, _until_ it runs out," the woman called after them. He stopped and looked at her over his shoulder. His patients had finally reached an end and he narrowed his eyes at the old woman that was standing there with her crocked back,

"You have exceeded your time and purpose, _youba_. It would be wise that you silence your foolish tongue before you find it missing," he warned in a low voice. Most humans, the ones mindless enough to test him, would had taken this heading to mind and tried to get as far away from him as possible. But not this one, and maybe it was because she was so close to death that it no longer frightened her when she was faced with it. It didn't matter what form it came in, an enraged youkai or that black shapeless thing that stole your breath away in the darkness of night. Or maybe it wasn't that, maybe she was just too old and crazy to _really_ realize how close she was to having her blood spilt on the packed down earth that served as her floor.

Whatever the reason, her reaction actual cooled his anger rather then fueled it. It had been a long time since a human had amused him. Rin had sparked his curiosity just a little when she returned day after day to help him after that idiot of a brother had injured him. But that had only been a slight pull, though it was enough to make him help her in the end.

The old woman simple made a clicking noise against her teeth with her tongue and walked over to Rin, bending over and cupping her cheeks in her hands,

"Oh, you make sure that _baka_ there takes good care of you, do you understand child" she asked, "I don't want to see you around here sick like that again."

Rin scrunched up her nose, but nodded, "I don't think Sesshou-maru–_sama_ enjoys being called a _baka_. He might-"

"Don't worry about me, child," the woman shook her head and stood up as straight as she could, "You just make sure he gives you those herbs. And if he forgets, bug him until he does."

"Sesshou-maru–_sama_ doesn't forget," Rin countered, taking a hold of his pant leg.

"Of course he doesn't," she answered in a non-convincing way while turning to look at him. "Perhaps you best find someone to take care of the child. Someone good with little girls."

"I am not incompetent," he answered, and decided to leave before he got anymore irritated. "Come, Rin."

And with that he turned and headed out the door, Rin trailing close behind him. She paused long enough to wave goodbye.

A day had passed since then, and now he sat watching her as she curled up by the fire and closed her eyes. Perhaps the _majo_ had been right. He wasn't capable of completely taking care of the child. She was a human, after all, and he wasn't an expert in their needs. It would be best if he did seek outside help in the matter. The only question was who?

He glanced at Jaken, who was relaxed against the base of a nearby tree. The Staff of Heads was resting across his lap and a loud snore emitted from his lips. He, obviously, wasn't the one for the task. He couldn't even manage to get Rin to do the simplest of things, like making her sit still long enough for her studies. He supposed he could always get a slave to do the job, but he didn't exactly approve of the idea. The last thing he needed was another mindless servant running around at his feet.

He sighed softly, closing his eyes and leaning back on the tree trunk he was sitting against. The girl, once again, was proving to be a lot more trouble then she was probably worth. Of course, there was always another option. But was she worth it?

He opened his eyes again, watching as her shoulders rose and fell with each breath. He stayed that way for quite awhile, hearing nothing but the crackling of the fire, Jaken's obnoxious snore, and the sounds of the forest. And then, he made his decision.

"Jaken." The toad demon continued his slumber despite his call. Sesshou-maru glanced at the ground and picked up a rather large pebbled, tossing it effortlessly at his servant's head. He awoke with a start, knocking the Staff of Heads down as he stood up abruptly and grabbed his now swelling head.

"WHAT!" the confusion was evident on his face and in his voice. Sesshou-maru rose, gaining the smaller demon's attention.

"My…my lord," he hurriedly reached down and picked up the staff, "You roused me?"

"Watch after the girl. Wake her and make sure she eats and drinks the herbs that the _majo_ prescribed. I will return in three days. I expect you to have reached the castle by that time. If anything happens to her, you will be held responsible."

"Hai, Sesshou-maru–_sama_."

He turned and walked away from the camping area, passing Ah-Un on his way to the dirt path. Perhaps it would have been best if he had sent a letter ahead of time, warning them of his arrival and intentions. But the longer he walked, the longer he realized he didn't really care. The promise made many years ago still held. He would get what he wanted in the end.

majo - witch

youba - hag

baka - idiot, fool


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: Kindly look to chapter one.

**Author's Note:** Thanks again, and I hope I don't disappoint. Oh, and word translations are at the end of the chapter. There're a lot of them in this chapter. In advance, I'm sorry for any confusion…

Polar

Chapter 2

Fall had always been her favorite time of year. When she was younger she would spend hours in the gardens, staring up at the gold colored leaves. Watching as they rained down. Her _otou-san_ could never understand her appreciation of the season.

"_It foretells nothing but the awful desolation of winter_," she remembered him explaining to her one day, his dark brows bent in agitation. She didn't agree, but wisely kept that belief to herself. Her _nakihaha_ had passed away during the cold months over fifty years ago, and the pain he felt was still raw. She preferred not to make his thoughts linger on it. So she reflected on the days when she was still healthy enough to sit by her side and enjoy the wonders around her in solitude. Ironically, her mother's last good days occurred during the fall, and this only strengthened her esteem for the season. It always brought back warm memories of laughter, frivolous conversations, and quiet songs being hummed as a comb was ran through her dark hair.

But today, staring at the falling leaves gave her nothing but a deep uneasiness in the pit of her stomach. Something was happening. The wind whispered of the unknown, or new things beginning. She didn't like it.

Sighing, she turned away from her balcony, the tranquil view no longer appealing to her. The pups, Tani and Kare, had finally ceased their play and were taking their afternoon nap on her _futon_, leaving her to her own devices for that first time all day. She still didn't approve of having to watch the twins, but her _keibo_ insisted that she had nothing better to do. Her mornings were spent entertaining them, the afternoons in quiet meditation as they rested, and the evenings in the company of her parents and other siblings. Things were simple, routine even, and she liked it that way. That's why the feeling she was having, that since of change, was so upsetting.

Someone was making their way down the hall, and she turned towards the entrance when she heard them stop.

"Souzousha-_chan_."

She walked over to the door, glancing at the pups before sliding the _shoji_ screen back. Her _nii-san_ was standing on the other side, his black hair pulled up and looking all the more noble in his dark blue robes. He gazed at her for a moment before speaking again.

"Can you feel it yet?"

She frowned slightly, "Feel what?" He smirked and looked at the sleeping children,

"_Otou-san_ wants you to be available to great a guest. I'll watch Tani and Kare."

"_Hai_," she nodded and stood back from the door so that he could enter, "Did he say who the guest is?"

He smiled faintly and put a hand on her shoulder. "The Lord of the Western Lands. _Otou-san_ says wear your _kazami_, the one _senpi_ passed down to you."

The apprehension that she'd been experiencing all afternoon went ten fold. It felt like the floor had suddenly dropped out from under her when she realized the severity of what he had just said. He must have noticed her discomfort because his smile soon turned to a look of concern.

"You are not pleased. Why is this?"

It had been so many years since she'd had to think about it. She'd always been under the impression that she wouldn't have to worry about it, simply because Sesshou-maru-_sama_ would have given up a limb before coming for her. In all honesty, she'd forgotten all about the promise and apparently so had Kiso.

"The _engumi_. He must be here for that."

His concern turned to confusion, "The _engumi_? He wouldn't…"

She shook her head and stepped away from him, heading towards her chest where she kept her clothes. The kimono was buried under a mound of other material. She removed each one with care before finally pulling out the red _kazami_, running her fingers over the gold embroidered silk. It still held her _senpi's_ scent. She had never worn it, not having seen a reason to before her _otousan's_ request. The simply fact that he wanted her to wear the _kazami_ was enough to realize just how important the meeting was going to be. He wanted her to impress the Great Lord, and that meant he also wanted him to consider the agreement that had been made so many years ago.

"Do you suppose he came because of you," Kiso asked.

She nodded, "I believe so. We have not dishonored any territorial vows."

"But we both know he's views on _hanyou_." She could hear the loathing in his voice when he said the word.

"Perhaps he has found some use of this possession." She sighed and stood, turning to face him.

"Don't speak of yourself like that."

"Is it not true?" When he didn't responded she sighed again. "Will you give me a moment to change?"

He nodded, keeping his gold eyes trained on hers. "Will you be alright?"

"_Hai_."

"I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm going to inform _otousan_ that you will be ready soon. Should I have help sent up?"

"No, I can manage on my own. _Arigatou_, Kiso-_kun_" He nodded his head slightly before walking out, sliding the _shoji_ screen close behind him. She began the tedious process of dressing, starting first with a white _hari-bakama_, followed by a _hitoe_, _uchiki_, then the _itsutsu-ginu_. The red _kazami_ was placed over the other layers, and it took a few more minutes to tie the simple _ate-obi_ in the back. The long skirts made it cumbersome to walk, but she managed to make her way over to a mirror and apply a little rouge to her cheeks and lips. When she was done she returned to watching the falling leaves from her balcony while waiting for Kiso.

The few minutes that she waited seem to drag on for an eternity as the formidable power that was Sesshou-maru's grew. He had finally arrived.

There was a slight moan behind her and she turned to see one of the twins stirring. Tani was pushing the _katebuton_ off of her, effectively covering her sister in it at the same time. Souzousha walked over to them, bending over the fix the blanket and pick Tani up.

"Why are you so dressed up," she asked with a yawn. She shifted her to her other hip while looking down at the other pup to make sure she was still sleeping.

"We have a visitor. I am to great him."

"Oh," she sighed against her shoulder, "He woke me."

"Is that so?"

"_Hai_," she sat up and looked her in her face, her small fingers playing with one of the many layers of her _kimono_ "You look nice _aneue_. Is the visitor a coutier?"

"_Hai_," she replied, glancing towards the door as it slid open, revealing her brother once again, "Something like that. I must go now." She lowered the younger girl to the ground and reached out to fix her tussled hair,

"Behave for Kiso-_kun_." Tani scrunched up her nose as if she smelled something bad,

"I will make no promises."

Souzousha smiled slightly and stood back up. She wasn't ready to face what awaited her, and for the first time ever she would have preferred to stay and watch over the children. There was something curious about the visit. Why was there no notice sent in advance? If he was there about the betrothal, then he would have given them enough time for preparation. Besides, there might have been few little things known about the Great Lord, but one thing that _was_ well known was his view on _hanyou's_. She knew nothing about the origin of his deep hatred, but her _otousan_ only agreed to the betrothal because there wasn't even the slightest possibility that Sesshou-maru would have come for her. Even if he did somehow get over his animosity, he probably wouldn't have favored the idea of an arranged marriage because he wasn't the one who initiated it, and consequently wasn't the one in control. In fact, the only reason he probably didn't rebel against the act was because as long as the pledge was in place there would be no more fighting between the White and Black Inugami of the Western Lands and Lord Inu-Taisho, and any appointed heirs would have complete control over all the western terrain. Her _otou-san_ gave up a lot of his power that day, but it finally succeeded in ending the bloodshed that had already taken the lives of three of his sons.

Kiso entered the room, coming to a stop beside the _futon_, "They are waiting in the tea room. You should hurry."

She nodded her head, walking as fast as she could in the weighty robes. There was no one present in the corridors, nor in the garden as she passed through. The sun had gone past it's highest point and was resting right above the tree line. She took a moment to bask in it's solace before continuing along the path to the tea room.

When she entered she saw that they were both sitting on the _tatami_, each nursing a cup of what smelt like _koucha_. Her _otou-san's_ favorite. Strong and dark, "_Like your old man,_" followed by a deep, booming laugh. She paused in the entryway, bowing low at the waist. Her _otousan_ returned her jester with a slight nod of his head, but the Great Lord simply eyed her before returning his attention back to his tea. He, obviously, hadn't changed much since their first meeting. Her _otou-san_ beckoned for her to join them, and she shuffled over to the table and sat down on her feet.

"Sesshou-maru-_sama_, I'd like to introduce to you, once again, my second daughter, Souzousha." His gaze flickered towards her again before seemingly finding her uninteresting and returning back to his drink. Her _otousan_ noticed this with a quiet sigh, but went on as if it hadn't happened.

"As you can see she has changed quite a bit since the first time you met." When he didn't respond he continued, "I must confess I never expected you to collect on the _engumi_, but it still stood none the less. And because of this I have prepared Souzousha for this occasion as best as I could."

Up until then, she had been keeping her gaze cast down to her lap, effectively avoiding eye contact with either of them. But when she heard those words leave her father's mouth she lifted her head and looked at him questioningly. Aside from the month that the arrangement had been made, there hadn't really been anymore talk about the engagement. And there certainly hadn't been any talk about preparation for it. The things that her father was speaking of were news to her ears, and she wasn't at all happy about it.

"Sousousha has been fully trained in the _chado_, including calligraphy and flower arranging. She is also well learned in all of her studies: literature, science, and the likes. Perhaps even some that I don't know about. Her _keibo_, Tsukiyama, has also taken the liberty of training her in the art of _Bottojutsu_ and _Jojutsu_ and she is therefore more then effective at defending herself. So you wont have to go through great lengths to ensure her safety.

"Aside from that, I have also made sure that she has been taught how to behave like a proper lady of the court and that she act accordingly at all times. As you can see, the discipline has done it's job. Tsukiyama has also stated that she is more then ready for parenthood, for she has taken excellent care of my pups Tani and Kare." He paused long enough to take a sip of tea,

"I am very pride of Souzousha. She has developed into quite the lovely young woman." He finished by returning his cup to the table, then folding his arms into the sleeves of his _kimono_. She continued to stare at him, hoping to see any signs of remorse from the things that he'd said. She had worked very hard to achieve all the he had spoken of, even the court etiquette, and it bothered her that he was able to sum up all her accomplishments in a twenty second speech. More importantly, he was treating the entire situation in a manor that she disapproved of. It was like he was selling off a prized mare as opposed to his own daughter. She gave up on trying to catch his eye and went back to starring at her hands, taking deep breath in an attempt to calm her nerves. She and her _otousan_ were going to have a long talk after their meeting was done.

Throughout the one sided conversation, Sesshou-maru has shown little interest in what was being said. He simply closed his eyes and held his cup in the palm of his hand, the fingers of the other wrapped around it circumference to steady it. He'd occasionally take a small sip and return it to his former position, back erect and holding a regal air about him. When the room was finally quiet he took one final sip and placed the cup on the table. She couldn't see any of this, because she refused to lift her head, but she heard it clearly. Just like she heard running water as her _otousan_, ever the gracious host, rushed to refill his cup. There was a slight rustle of cloth as the Great Lord shifted his position followed by his low alto as the Great Lord finally spoke,

"Is she subservient?"

She looked up then, she couldn't help it. Her brows knitting together in confusion and anger. Her _otousan_ frowned also as he sat the kettle back down,

"I'm sorry…"

"Will she follow directions?" His heavy gaze was back on her again, and she held it this time, almost as if challenging him. In a way she figured she was.

"_Hai_, my Lord. As long as they are reasonable."

Sesshou-maru seemed to consider the response and for a few fleeting moments she thought that perhaps he would change his mind. But then he stood and turned to her _otousan_.

"I will send a carriage for her tomorrow at noon. Be sure she is prepared." He then bowed his head slightly and started for the door.

"Wait," her _otousan_ stood as well, "Will you not stay the night, Sesshou-maru-_sama_? You have such a far way to travel, and we have several guest quarters that would fit your needs"

"That won't be necessary. I must return to my _shiro_. I thank you for your hospitality. _Bonsowaaru_." And with that he was gone. She started at the doorway, glaring at his retreating form until his disappeared at a bend in the garden path before turning back to her _otousan_ who was busy clearing the table.

"Am I a burden to you," she asked. He sighed, as if expecting her rebuke, but continued with what he was doing,

"You are not a burden to me, Souzousha. I must simply hold my end of the agreement. Peace must be kept at all times."

"Even if it means sending your daughter off to be a slave?"

He stopped his actions and looked at her, "Even if it means sending my daughter off to be a slave. Which, I can assure you, is not your fate."

"You heard what he asked."

"_Hai_. The same I would have asked if I were in his position and had the arrogance. No one wants a defiant spouse."

She stood, "You know as well as I do that he does not intend to honor the _engumi_."

"I have no idea what his intentions are, Souzousha. But I will do what I have to in order to protect our family and our home. I'm sorry you are the one that has to suffer, but I can not bring shame to my name be retracting Lord Inu-Taisho's agreement. I won't tolerate anymore bloodshed between the clans and you must understand this. You are the peace keeper"

She frowned, barring her teeth, "And you are a prideful coward."

She left before he could stop her, grabbing as much of her _kimono_ in her hands that she could to make her exit faster. She saw Tsukiyama sitting on a bench beside the garden path a couple of yards from the tea room; she would have kept walking if the older woman hadn't reached out and stopped her.

"Souzousha," she said softly, standing to look her in the face, "You are upset." She then reached up and started to wipe at her cheeks with a lavender sleeve. She hadn't realized she'd been crying up until then.

"I take it you will be leaving, then," she went on.

Souzousha took a deep breath to steady herself, "_Hai_." Tsukiyama stopped wiping at her face and gave her a concerned look.

"Come, let's walk to the pond. If you feel like talking, I'll listen." She nodded, taking another deep breath, something she seemed to be doing a lot lately, and followed her _keibo_ down the path.

otousan – father

nakihaha – dead mother

futon – Japanese style bed, lies flat on the floor

keibo – stepmother

shoji – paper screen

niisan – older brother

kazami – formal kimono worn by daughters of the court

senpi – one's late mother

engumi – betrothal

kimono – Japanese style robes

hari-bakama – divided skirt

hitoe - unlined garment

uchiki – middle garment

itsutsu-ginu – five layers

katebuton – comforter

aneue – older sister

Inugami – dog demon

koucha – black tea

chado – doctrine of the tea ceremony

Bottojutsu and Jojutsu – fighting technique of the staff and stick

shiro – castle

Bonsowaaru – good evening


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**: Don't own the one's your recognize.

**Author's Note**: Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry for the long hiatus. Things have been beyond crazy the past god only knows how many months. I have been writing, which is important. But what's more important, to me at least, is that I've gone over the previous chapters and fixed the many many many errors. Most of which involved spelling, it appears my word processor wasn't catching all my silly little brain farts. BUT HAVE NO FEAR! Microsoft FrontPage is here! And the spell check actually works.

Like I mentioned before, sorry for the delay. College and work and lots of other particulars (like insanity) have kept me quite the busy lately. But my insomnia is back (oh how I've missed thee) so that means lots of adult swim and story writing. Which is good for you readers. I think that's all folks. Enjoy.

nEo

Polar

Chapter 3

Her carriage arrived late into the evening, which was by no fault her own, but he was still irate as he watched her entrance from a high balcony. She was dressed in travel clothes of lavander and white, with a sedge hat and veil covering her face. Customary of women of her class the wear when leaving their homes for long trips. The fabrics appeared to be of the finest silks, and he was amused at her father's unsuccessful attempts to impress him. He had no interest in Hiroshi-_sama's _half-breed daughter, despite the flourish he went through to make her pleasing to the eye. Everything about the situation was beneath him, but he would do right by Rin. Even if it meant tolerating this _hanyou_.

Servents led her in, and he turned from his perch on the balcony. He would not greet her yet. She didn't deserve it. In the morning he would notify her of her duties and then continue with his patrols. That would give her ample time to let all anger sweat out. Anger which was well deserved, and of which he had no intention of subjecting himself to. He returned to his study, going over letters of invitation and grievances. He cared little for any of them. When Jakken came to tell him of the girls arrival, and he simply nodded before ordering no more interruptions. She did not take preference over diplomatic duty.

Much later that night, as he sat outside watching the leaves fall, a thought crossed his mind that he may have gotten himself into something a lot bigger then what he intended. For a moment his impassive veneer was broken by a frown. Slight and barely discernible, it was gone within a matter of seconds. He finally rose to retire to his room, her stench heavy in the air.

In the morning he received a letter bearing the seal of Kirin-_sama_. Breaking the red wax, he scrolled over the delicate writing before refolding it and stowing it away in a wooden box. It seemed he wouldn't meet the girl as planned. Calling in the closet servant, he informed him that he would be gone for a few days. Jaken was to be put in charge in his absence. The younger man bowed his head,

"Is that all My Lord?"

Adjusting the swords at his side he replied, "Make sure our new addition does not go exploring."

"_Hai_, My Lord. I hope you have a safe and productive trip, Sesshou-maru-_sama._" The servant shuffled out of the room after another bow and he watched him go with mild interest. A visit to the north was never safe or productive. Kirin-_sama_ was hardly known for his pleasure with the Inugami of the West. There hadn't been war between the two lands, but there was always disagreement on the proper way to rule, and because of this he made a point to avoid being in the presence Kirin-_sama_ as much as it could be permitted.

The letter had been simple and straight to the point. The lord requested his appearance at court as soon as it could be arranged for there was much to discuss. He gave no clue as to what it was they would be holding court over, but asking for his attendance was enough to make it important.

He ventured into the gardens, hearing Rin's voice as she partook in her daily flower picking routine. She looked up as he approached, but continued to sing softly as she braided the stems of two flowers together. He could still hear the sickness in her chest, but the herbs were working. She seemed to be returning to her usual self, bouncy and loud. It was still too cold for her to be outside, especially if she insisted on wearing that silly _kimono_, already a size too small and with several stitches made to repair holes.

"_Ohayou_, Sesshou-maru-_sama_." She smiled brightly. "I'm making Jaken-_san_ a crown for when I go back inside. Would you like one?"

He stopped walking and looked down at the smudges of dirt on her knees, "You should be inside. You are still not well."

She shrugged and picked up another flower, "I feel fine. And these are the last of the flowers before the frost comes."

"Hmm," he nodded, looking past her at the turning foliage. She started humming and they stayed like that for several moments. Finally she put down the half finished flower crown and gazed up at him.

"You are leaving again, My Lord."

"_Hai_."

"Well then, I shall have to finish this before you go."

He ignored how she once again pressed the issue. "Your _moriyahu_ arrived last night. She is being housed in the servant quarters. You are to go and show her to the room that was prepared."

She frowned a little and picked up the flowers, "I don't want her. I want to stay here and play."

"I will not go over this with you again, Rin. You are well past the age that one should be receiving lessons."

"Then why not have Jaken-_san_ teach me?"

"Jaken has other responsibilities besides you. Your _moriyahu_ will teach your studies and the proper way a lady is to behave. Jakken hardly has the expertise." She continued to sulk as she finished the crown.

"Finish what you are doing and then go find her. Make sure you are given your tea before noon."

The frown deepened and she gave a quiet sigh. "_Hai_, My Lord."

His departure was taking longer then he intended and he turned, starting back towards the _shiro_. He heard Rin stand up after him.

"Wait," she called out, "Your flowers. I think they may be too small, they were supposed to be for Jaken-_san_ but..." She trailed off when he turned back around and narrowed his eyes at the yellow petals.

"Here," she held the crown up and he took it.

"I hope you have a pleasant trip My Lord," she said with another smile before running off. He stared down at the flowers a little longer, wondering briefly why he bothered to indulge her such before watching her go off. The bottoms of her feet where brown and he called after her.

"_Hai_, My Lord," she slowed to a walk and turned to look at him, still moving.

"Bathe."

She was running again, splitting the calm morning air with her laughter. He waited until she was inside before he placed the flowers inside his robes.

hanyou - half demon, half human

Ohayou - Good Morning

hai - yes

moriyahu - guardian or nanny

shiro - castle


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Inuyasha. Don't really wish I did now that I think about it. Too much responsibility.

**Author's Note**: I'm revising the previous three chapters. Not really changing much but a few grammar and spelling errors. For some reason I can't seem to remember that Jaken's name does NOT have two 'k's it. Silly brain. Oh well, I guess I'll find a beta soon if I can pump out enough chapters to have something to beta.

Polar

Chapter 4

_Souzousha, _

_You have been given a great task. Despite your trepidation, despite the ill at hand, there will be good to come. _

_Balance, my Love. _

_When the scale tips too much there is chaos. Your purpose (not the only one, I can assure you, but the greatest) is to provide the light. The utmost of two extremes...Souzousha and Sesshou-maru. But there is so much power to be harvested there. So much..._

_I'm afraid if you are reading this letter then I am no longer present to give you these words myself. For that I am infinitely sorry. This is one lesson that I will not be able to teach you. Youkai are difficult by nature, and your betrothed exemplifies this trait by far. Have patience. Though you may have to act as your own instructor, you have the strength of mind and heart to conquer all. _

_And if there is anything you remember of this, know that you are never alone. Confidants can be found in the most unlikely of places. _

_Take care my Love. My prayers have always been with you._

_-Emi_

She hadn't read the letter her _otou-san_ had handed her will in the private (and cage like) walls of the carriage provided by the Great Lord. Since the meting in the tearoom she hadn't uttered a word to him and out of a final act of defiance she thrown the weathered paper to the carriage floor and shut the curtain. The last she saw of her father was a defeated sigh, casting his eyes down to the letter before bringing them back to her. Almost pleading with vindication. So uncharacteristic, seeing him humbled so. Had she acted that rashly before there would have been astringent punishment to pay.

And she supposed she had acted childish. She'd even felt so when she found herself with crossed arms and worrying her bottom lip. The same way she used to when she was much younger and didn't get her way. The regression to childhood behavior pulled her sharply out of her morose mood and she felt the first pangs of regret. There was no certainty that she would see her _otou-san_ again. No certainty that she'd ever be in the sanctuary of her home. No more security from the outside world. That place where you weren't special because you were different. You were scorned because you were tainted, not pure.

He never thought of her that way. And she'd hurt him.

The letter lay forgotten on the carriage floor. It remained forgotten when she arrived at the Western Lord's _shiro_ and was led in by servants who all but ignored the fact that she was there. She was absorbed in thoughts of her _otou-san _and not saying good-bye, and the looks she was getting from the many other servants now surrounding her. They were the lowest of _youkai_. The scrubbers of floors. The cleaners of chamber pots. She was still beneath them. And throughout all the worry, thoughts, and quiet whispers (which weren't really quiet enough not to be heard and she was pretty sure they were meant to reach her ears) the letter remained forgotten.

And it stayed that way until she followed the girl named Rin, who troubled her mind the most because she was neither _youkai_ or _hanyou_, but purely human. Despite this, she treated her little better then any _youkai_ would, regarding her with warm less eyes, though she suspected it had nothing to do with what she was but what she was for. Puzzling over the human girl's presence she was led into what she assumed was to be her new room. It smelled like her home (former home, she had to keep reminding herself) as they approached and when the screen was slid back she saw her possessions placed there.

"This is where Sesshou-maru-_sama_ wants you to stay."

She glanced down at the girl, a little shocked at her familiar use of his name. Seeming the notice the stare, she looked back at her before quickly glancing away. Another mystery to add to an already exhausted conscious. A human girl, in the Lord's care, comfortable enough with him to say his name with such carelessness.

"He-" She paused and cleared her throat while looking up at her once more, catching her mistake this time. "The Lord says you are to be my _moriyahu_. My room is a few doors down."

"I see." She nodded slightly. So now she knew the reason for the girl's less then welcome behavior. Looking at her things carelessly dumped in the room she noticed that the lock on her chest had been broken and items of clothing were sticking out of the closed lid. Someone had been rummaging through it in her absence. The infringement on her personals started a swelling somewhere deep inside of her. It rose slowly, spreading its foul taste in her mouth, almost causing her to gag. The feeling sweltering was completely alien, and it frightened her. She pressed the heel of one hand to her forehead, closing her eyes and tried to swallow back the hot, coppery sapor.

Anger. Pure and unadulterated. It begged for release; to force its way out and to find something, anything to feel its power. She got a sudden vision of the girl sprawled out on the floor, her face raw and the mineral taste no longer on her tongue but in the air. Blood, she thought, repulsed with the vision and herself. Her lips parted with a gasp and she suddenly felt very uncomfortable, in the room and her own skin.

"Is everything alright?" Rin was looking at her again and she could hear the concern in her voice. She tried to answer, but her throat closed on itself. She'd never had an experience like that before. She could be quick to catch temper, but to go as far as the visualize hurting someone as innocent as the human standing next to her was unbelievable. She couldn't let them get to her. She couldn't allow it.

The blockage cleared and she shook her head. "I'm sorry."

Rin frowned, "For what?"

For being who I am. For wanting to hurt you. For being abhorrent. None of these seemed explanation enough.

"I'm sorry for being here," she said finally walking over to the chest to assess the damage, still uncomfortable but collected enough to find something to distract herself. There were a few items gone, but nothing that she would miss terribly. The red _kazami_ was still there. The thief would have to do a lot of explaining if something so formal was found in their possession. It most certainly wasn't the standard uniform of a servant.

She felt the presence of the girl beside her as she sat down.

"You don't want to be here?"

"_Ie_. But I am, and nothing can change that."

She started folding the clothes and placing them back neatly in the chest. Rin was rummaging around in her _kimono_ for something and after a few seconds she pulled it out.

"Here. I think this is yours."

It was the letter. A little more wrinkled and frayed at the edges then it had been when her _otou-san_ had first given it to her, she recognized it by the name on the seal.

"I managed to get this while they were going through the carriage yesterday," she continued. "I'm afraid they got your fighting staff. But when the Lord returns I can have him get it back."

"_Arigato_," she nodded and took the letter. It didn't take long to read. Or read over, for that matter, because she was so confused by the cryptic words. Realizing that Rin was looking at the letter too, she quickly folded it and sighed. Things weren't any clearer then they had been before she read her _senpi's_ words. And it didn't seem as if there would be a revelation any time soon.

" 'Balance'," Rin said softly. "What did that mean?"

"It could mean anything. And it could mean nothing. That's how my _kaa-san_ was." She placed the letter under the rest of the clothes and closed the chest. "Again I thank you, Rin. But I think I am ready to retire."

"But it's no even noon yet-"

"I know," she interrupted, "Yet I am tired. It has been a stressful two days. We will talk later."

The girl nodded and stood, and Souzousha noted the state her _kimono_ was in. She needed a lot of attention as far as her appearance went. Despite being Sesshou-maru's ward she showed none of the ostentation that he himself possessed. Maybe ostentation wasn't the best word, because he didn't try to impress. It simply was.

"_Hai_. Have a good rest."

"I will, Rin. _Arigato_."

She left, sliding the screen closed behind her. Though she was tired she didn't slept. There were too many thoughts running through her head. Instead she lay on her bedding and wondered. The future seemed so impossibly indefinite. The present was so undesirable. Her only reprieve was memory, and so she thought of now lost home.

otou-san - father

youkai - demon

hanyou - half-demon

moriyahu - guardian, nanny

kazami - formal kimono worn by the daughters of the court

ie - no

kaa-san


End file.
